nicolovesit

Every time I see Ellen DeGeneres Show I just can't help but to drool over that hot DJ of hers. Tony Okungbowa. He is such a hunk, it's almost a sin!

Tony Okungbowa (aka Deejay Tony)

He was born in 1967 (you cannot tell he is that old) and he grew up in both Nigeria and UK. He is a dj, actor and producer, plus he is smokin' hot. He also DJ'd at the 2004 Grammy awards. He's been back and forth on DeGeneres Show since like 2004 as her DJ, who gives her hot new music to dance to when in the beginning of every show.






My February hunk

No one wants to be a bad kisser, there are some things that define a bad kisser according to almost every woman and man I guess:

• too much tongue
• too little tongue
• too violent tongue
• too weak tongue
• too violent lips
• too weak lips

...on the other hand I don't really believe in good or bad kissers. Because it's all about what you like. A bad kisser according to me might be the best according to another.


But that moment when you kiss a guy for the first time.. and it doesn't work... that would be the end of the relationship, at least for me. Ok, so you can always work on the kissing, but I just feel that if the kissing is bad to start with and you can't immediately turn it into good kissing, there is no way in hell they relationship is gonna be any better.

Same with sex, if the sex is disastorous the first time, ok, that's fine, guys can be nervous too, but there is no excuse for the second and third time. Then there is just NO spark in the relationship, get over it. If you can't understand each other in bed, then you will not understand each other in real life either. You are probably not ment to be together anyway.

For me, a good kiss should be sensual, sexy, intense, soft and romantic. It's all about feeling it, you gotta feel it, baby! I don't care about the tongue and lips that much, as long as he does it with emotion, and not with insecurity.



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Cute pics, not quite as adorable in real life though...

Definition of jealousy: Jealousy is a secondary emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, particularly in reference to a human connection. Jealousy often consists of a combination of presenting emotions such as anger, sadness, and disgust. It is not to be confused with envy.

I am such a jealous person. I need to get my act together because I hate when the one I'm with is jealous, I know what it does to a relationship, and I've been there, and it's not pretty.

On an internet site it says that the cure for jealousy is simply to find happiness within yourself!! That's probably true...

I think that some cultures and nationalities are more likely to be jealous, or possessive. They say that the sicilian men are horribly jealous. But why would they be jealous when they are so masculine? It seems that the more masculine the man is the more jealous. That's strange, because you'd think a man who's masculine and good looking would be secure enough about himself to trust his woman. But that doesn't seem to be the case here..


SO, work on finding happiness within yourself, Nic and cure that jealousy of yours!

Cannot sleep. It is so frustrating. I have a fever and I'm coughing and I really think I'm getting ill for real, probably flu. But that's not the reason for which I cannot sleep. It's nervs. It's fear about the future. It's anger about my incredibly stupid decisions in life. It is now 02.47 and I have turned my computer off twice already.

The future is right now, Nic, don't you forget it. The future is right now, and watch out so that you don't miss the future becoming the past. That's what's important, ain't it? Do not loose focus and try to be mindfull about every part of your life, because there are so many parts of life that is actually pretty great, things one seem to forget when things are tough.



Things I'm gratefull for today:

• My new hand bag that is so pretty, and I got to use it the first time today.
• My tomatoes that I planted last week have grown quite a bit, I will have my own tomatoes this summer! That's an amazing gift of life!
• My chili plants that have, after two weeks of patience, FINALLY started to show , i can see small green baby plants trying to raise up, out of the earth, I just wanna help them, but I shall let them fight for themselfs.
• I managed to keep up my singing voice perfectly through: Beyoncé - Halo, Christina Aguilera - The voice within AND three times (once with real emotion and tears on my eyes): Alicia Keys - Try sleeping with a broken heart. Then my precious voice broke and it felt like thousand razorblades were cutting my vocal corders into pieces. The same feeling you get from drinking acid probably (I damn the day that infection scarred my vocal cordors). But I keep on singing my song. Quietly.

Yeah, that's pretty much it!

I bought two bags last week, this is one of them. I wasn't sure about it at first but the more I look at it the more I fall competely in love. I bought it Second hand of course, you can't find bags this gorgeous in regular stores. And it is in perfect contition too! So worth the 395 SEK I spent on it :) Genuin lether, and very good quality.





Look at this baby!! It is perfect for school, I feel like a professor.

So, I went to see Love and other drugs tonight and let me just say that I was pleasantly surprised! It was a pretty good movie with a beautiful story.

I don't know if it was my state of mind as I saw it, but it sure got me thinking about what love really is and.... I'm confused.

This is why: How do you know IN WHAT WAY a person loves you?

I am talking about spiritual and sexual loving. How do you know if a person loves you for your mind and spirit rather than for your looks? It's all so confusing.

I think it's pretty clear who loves/has loved my mind and spirit and who loves/has loved my looks, even if I didn't realize it at the time, but hey, better late then never. It's the most painful thing to think that no one could love your inner beauty, and sometimes (I actually do think I am beautiful, is that a crime?) you might even wish you were ugly. At least then you would know if the person loves you for you, and not for your beauty that will fade as you age anyway.

I don't normally bother with shoes, that's not my thing, I'm all about bags and other things. But when I do find shoes I like, I love them. Like this pair of Alexander McQueen's. They are £895.00.... Like.. No way. They are a true masterpiece.























bisous

I was sitting listening to French radio this morning as I drank my coffee. And I must say, there is no other language in the world that makes me feel the way French makes me feel. According to myself I became quite the Parisienne before leaving for Sweden. For those of you not aware of the arrogance and bitterness that is displayed in the faces of the Parisians (or whatever you call them in English) let me tell you: The Parisiens are the rudest most arrogant people in the world, and I love it!

I love the bitches in the stores along Champs - Élysées, and I love the rude people in the metro who can't appologize after having steped on your foot. I love the rude men who is shouting comments about your ass in Chateau Rouge, and I love (and feel sorry for) the hookers around Pigalle and Barbès, I love the drug dealing and music making in the studios in Corentine Cariou, I love the hot summers when you shower every 10 minutes because you live in a shitty 12 m2 apartment on the 6th floor without elevator, I love having to clean everyday (but I didn't) because of all the dirt coming from the cars down at Boulevard de l'hôpital into my window....


..... But mostly I love that one person out of thousands people you meet every now and then, that acctually smiles at you and says a little word of comfort.....


I realized, I wanna go back, but this time: There is no room for mistakes.




The view from my old apartment. God, I miss it...



If this doesn't make you wanna go for a night out, I think nothing will.




bisous

I bet this is great if you have a significant other. Jippiii for the ones who have made it. I hate Valentine's day. Why? Well let me tell you why: Every damn year, there is something that is keeping me from being with my love, if I have one at that time. Or, we seem to have broken up by the time Valentin's day comes. Why is it so hard to just spend ONE single Valentin's day with someone!


I do know it's a stupid tradition to sell the hell out of the stores. And I don't care about that shit. It's the fact that I know that everyone is with someone that day. Except for the ones who have no one, and that is what makes me sad, that there are so many people who want someone. And I hate all the tradition that makes you feel extra lonely, like New years, and Christmas and Valentines etc.


I am feeling very ridiculous about the strong feelings I have about these traditions, and I think the reason that I feel so stongly about them and that I am so dreamy about having that perfect Valentine's day is the movies!!! I blame those stupid American Hollywood movies, and I blame American culture in general.. So stupid...


I shall eat chocolates tomorrow. As usual: To myself, from myself :) Or buy myself a hand bag... that always works to. I know better than anyone that I'm so worth it. (although I have so many bags now I don't know where to put them..)









bisous

I am so sad. My hair is my baby.. and I'm quite happy to have gotten rid of almost half of ut. But that doesn't mean I wanna get the haircut of a senior lady!! It was pretty cool when it's blowdryed and all. But let's face it, I am not a blowdrying kind of girl. I dont have the energy to style my hair.. I just want it to dry the way it wants to. What I AND my hairdresser obviously forgot is how curly my hair gets when it'sthis short. I look like fuckin' goldie locks or something... I feel so ugly and out of place.. I have got to do something about this.. I just don't know how..

Wow, I got my hair cut today! 1,5 decimeter straight off, that's because it was so dammaged from the pool water in which I swim twice a week. But the length I have now is good. I like it. I always get so annoyed with my hair when it gets to that point when it's a pain in the ass to brush it!!!




My new haircut

Here is a list of some of the food I think is the best food you can ever eat!

Avocado







Chicken







Cottage Cheese








Salmon






Chèvre








bisous

So, it's Saturday, THE Saturday, The AFRICAN EVENING Saturday :)

I have made the followings:

Banana cake
Groundnut cake
Chicken and sauce.


The chicken and sauce I got from a very reliable rource, Mr Dada. (Whom's birthday I tried so hard to celebrate yesterday, it was his 23th birthday and I'm so pround of him) He is a mastrchef, who would have guessed!!

Anyway, I have food for about 17 people, and we are 15 at the party, I'll make plenty of rice to go around.

The other two I got from my african cooking book. Banana cake from Liberia and Groundnut cake from Botswana, and chicken and sauce from Nigeria.

AND, there will be no changing of music tonight, it's african all the way, baby!

Let the games begin!