nicolovesit

Cannot sleep. It is so frustrating. I have a fever and I'm coughing and I really think I'm getting ill for real, probably flu. But that's not the reason for which I cannot sleep. It's nervs. It's fear about the future. It's anger about my incredibly stupid decisions in life. It is now 02.47 and I have turned my computer off twice already.

The future is right now, Nic, don't you forget it. The future is right now, and watch out so that you don't miss the future becoming the past. That's what's important, ain't it? Do not loose focus and try to be mindfull about every part of your life, because there are so many parts of life that is actually pretty great, things one seem to forget when things are tough.



Things I'm gratefull for today:

• My new hand bag that is so pretty, and I got to use it the first time today.
• My tomatoes that I planted last week have grown quite a bit, I will have my own tomatoes this summer! That's an amazing gift of life!
• My chili plants that have, after two weeks of patience, FINALLY started to show , i can see small green baby plants trying to raise up, out of the earth, I just wanna help them, but I shall let them fight for themselfs.
• I managed to keep up my singing voice perfectly through: Beyoncé - Halo, Christina Aguilera - The voice within AND three times (once with real emotion and tears on my eyes): Alicia Keys - Try sleeping with a broken heart. Then my precious voice broke and it felt like thousand razorblades were cutting my vocal corders into pieces. The same feeling you get from drinking acid probably (I damn the day that infection scarred my vocal cordors). But I keep on singing my song. Quietly.

Yeah, that's pretty much it!