nicolovesit

I can not handle this silence on the countryside! I sleep too deep and it gives me extreme headaches that will not pass even with painkillers or coffee. I always have it in Sweden, but never in Paris! Sometimes I think it's because there's so much noice that I can't feel my head. That's kinda what I like.

I feel so confused, but I don't have time to be because my sister's getting married soon and I need to think about that but my inside is screaming.. I don't know what I want anymore. Honestly I feel that I'm wasting my life in Sweden. I become a slacker.. I do nothing, I just sit infront of the computer. I really hate being outide the city. In the city I do things all the time, because I can! I can't do anything here.. I haven't even bought schampoo, because the closest town is like.. far away. I panic because I feel trapped.

It's strange that I feel more trapped here and panic as I'm claustrophobic you'd think that I would love all this space with no one around, but I don't. All that noice actually makes me calm and I focus much easier, and I don't get as distracted.

I feel forgotten too. I haven't had contact with anyone at all from France,exept for Cassandra. I had a very good friend there, but we've lost touch for several reasons (I guess it's mostly my fault), and I miss him so much. I would have liked nothing more than to just call him and talk to him and get his updates.

I haven't even talked to the person who is suppose to be the most important to talk to on a regular basis when I'm no longer in France. And it sucks, everything sucks right now.

What people don't get in Sweden is that... my life in Sweden is no longer my real life, the one in Paris is. And now I have to make my old real life my new real life.. right....?

Anyway, the good thing is that I get to spend time with my family. They are the best, they really are.




This is my sister and I when we were little, and we are still enjoying
ourself just as much nowdays as we did back then, if not more.